My trail mix family

My family is like trail mix or better yet Chex mix.  We are all different.  Some of us as different as nuts and chocolate.  We like different things.  Different movies, different clothes, different foods.  But we all go so well together.    We are just like any other family in many ways.  We argue we fight we laugh.  But the main thing the world sees about our family is that we are mixed.  My children do not have the same blood, the same genes.  They have different birth mothers and fathers.  But they are all mine and they are all special and wonderful in their own way.

Like the ingredients of any trail mix they are enjoyable in their own right.  The wonderful thing is, when combined, they are amazing together!  There is something magical about us when the separate “ingredients” are enjoyed as one.  Even if the idea of our family doesn’t please some people, we are something more magnificent because we are mixed. 

We have all been tossed about and the combining process is not smooth and slow.  It is rough, it is abrupt, and sometimes it is even a little violent.  But the process creates the amazing mix that we are.  Now, I know that there are people in this world that think less of my family because we weren’t created like some families.  We didn’t get the life we would had designed for ourselves  years ago.   We could never have imagined our life like this.  But, who, honestly, if they were thinking inside the box, would have ever invented trail mix? But aren’t we glad they did. 

Looking back I believe the parts of my life that are the most beautiful are the parts that weren’t exactly what I had expected.  That is sure something funny for me to say because my parents would laugh at that thought.  As I child, I hated change and I hated anything that changed my routine.  I would cry for an hour over missing the school bus because my day was going to start in a weird way.  I hated moving, I hated new people, new places, new food.  And I missed a lot.  I missed new friends and experiences because sameness was my friend.  It gave me control over my life.  Now that is a real joke. 

Today, my life is different from one second to the next. I never know what craziness my day might bring.  I don’t know and can not predict the things that might happen.  And, I love it!  I love that I get to live my life moment to moment, and I love that I can embrace the chaos.  As a teenager, my rebellious streak came by way of differentness.  I didn’t want to be like everyone else.  I was a crazy contradiction.  The constant struggle to not change, but never be the same kept me torn up inside.  I just didn’t want to be the same as others.  I didn’t want to follow the rules. But it all had to be on MY terms.   I carried a “Smurfs” wallet because I knew no one else had one, and then I was devasted when I lost it because I didn’t want to change wallets, I wanted THAT one.

Today, I live without worrying about most things.  I am not concerned that most people give my family labels that have negative connotations like mixed, blended, or non-traditional, because I like that we aren’t like everyone else.  I have grown up enough to know that different  does not mean better, but neither does normal, or same, or traditional. 

I would love to say that we did not choose our lives to be this way.  And in some definite ways we didn’t.  But some of the blame, some of the results, were our choice.  We choose many parts of our life and chose what to do with the situations we couldn’t change.  And here we are in this crazy combination of choices and circumstances beyond our control.  And why do I say we are like Chex mix?   It is a beautiful crazy dramatic mix of good things that must be present to make a party a party. So as we live this everyday party, I hope that our life, our experiences, and our lessons learned will be a blessing to all those that share in it.  Here goes something….